This past weekend, I had the honor of being my boyfriends Date to his dads wedding (obviously lol). The ceremony was absolutely beautiful & the entire weekend was amazing in itself. I got to spent quality time with my boyfriend along with meeting his family (with whom I fell in love with). He caught the garter & I “caught” (was handed) the bouquet😂. While the weekend was full of love & laughter, the entire ride home my mind was all over the place. Out of all the past weddings I had been to, NONE of them had been for people around my age or even slightly older. Is marriage a thing in the past?
See, the problem, in my eyes, is that this generation literally has no real value for commitment. We tend to jump from relationship to relationship as soon as things get bad instead of actually trying to work through issues with your partner. I come from a “family of marriage”. My grandparents took the “until death do us part” vow very seriously & we married for 50 years before my papa passed away in 2011. My parents just celebrated their 27th wedding anniversary on the 1st of this month. So my “marital values” are extremely strong. However, why does it seem that so many people are ok with the idea of living like they’re married without actually being married? Fear of commitment? Fear of missing out? Maybe it’s just me, but I’d be completely uncomfortable & heartbroken knowing that I’ve been living with my boyfriend for years & basically acting like a wife only for him to never put a ring on it (word to Beyoncé) because he “doesn’t see the point” or he’s “not ready for that type of commitment”.
Marriage is a big deal, so I’m no way shape form or fashion am I saying that people should rush into it. It’s sacred, it’s taking a vow before God & your families to cherish this person for the rest of your life. It’s telling the universe that your love this person SO much that you’re willing to become one & create your own family together, you’re willing to give all of you to this one person forever. It’s beautiful. But I do believe that it’s gotten lost. People tend to focus so much on the wedding instead of the marriage that it seems like 4-6 months after the wedding, they’re separated or divorcing.
So what is it? Is it this false idea of what a “perfect” spouse is? Is it this idea that there’s always someone better & that person could be the one? Is it the whole “why buy the cow when I can get the milk for free” thing? BREAKING NEWS!!! NOBODY is perfect, but somebody’s perfect for you. BREAKING NEWS!!! There’s ALWAYS going to be somebody prettier/ more handsome, taller/shorter, skinnier/ more muscular than your significant other, always. BUT, are you in it for a physical connection or a connection that you can’t even describe?One that your soul feels. BREAKING NEWS!!! Stop being a husband to your girlfriend until you’re ready to make her a wife. Stop being a wife to your boyfriend until he MAKES you a wife. (Yes, I’m totally against women proposing so this sounds biased. The Bible says “He who finds a wife” not She who finds a husband. Sue me.)
Now, with all this being said, how do you all feel marital values have changed over time? Does the idea of marriage still even really exist? Leave comments below!